Survival Cooking in 5 Easy Steps

~ The one in which PA finally cooks ~

1. Get a few potatoes. You don’t need to boil them. Peel the skin. Chop them into pieces in whichever shape you like. Shapeless is also a shape.

2. Get a kadhai. Put some oil in it, just enough to fry the potatoes. You don’t need to deep-fry, so put less oil. The potatoes just need to be pampered a bit. They are not to be given a hot-oil bath. Hence put a bearable amount of oil else the potatoes would turn out to be deep fried and you would end up with a different dish. Don’t forget to light the gas, else you may keep waiting for the oil to become hot and and end up waiting till eternity.

3. Once the oil is a bit heated, add jeera and chopped green chillies to it.

4. Sauté it for 2 seconds and add the diced potatoes to it. Keep stirring it.

5. Add turmeric powder and salt to it. Keep stirring it till the potatoes are in an edible condition. Make sure to turn off the gas once you are done.

You may eat this as a morning or evening nashta or make a meal out of it by eating it with chapati or bread. Serving it with dal and chapati makes a better combination.

You may add red chili powder instead of green chillies, if you fancy. It will yield a different taste. You can also experiment a bit further by adding onions, tomatoes, garam masala and the works if you have more time on hand. You can garnish it with fresh coriander leaves if you want to.

This aloo sabzi is commonly called ‘Aloo Bhujia’ in the northern parts of India, I guess – Bihar. In all possibilities, you may be calling it by an altogether different name.

So, by what name do you generally call it?

 

Nominated!

What happens when PA wakes up with a heavy head only to find out that she has made it to the Final Nominations in Avant Garde Bloggies Awards – 2009?

Well, the same expression that Saifoooo must have had after seeing his name in the Padma Shri Awards list.

Trumpets!

PA almost broke into a jig just like this Cadbury girl dancing on the cricket field.

You can check the complete list of final nominations here [link]

The posts from PA’s blog that made it to the final list:

~Best Movie Review Post:

Love Aaj Kal – Movie Review

~Most Interesting Personal Rant Post:

Shaitan ki aatma – The hichki katha

~Most Humorous Post:

Where PA turns tapori

~Best About Me Page:

More About Me

Now lets hope for the best. Tra la la la la.

 

The adulterated sur

Mile sur mera tumhara…

Does that ring a bell? And now since yesterday a lot more bells must be ringing?

Trying to fathom as to what kind of bells must have been ringing in the ears of the people who conceptualized the adulterated version of this lovely piece.

Tell me do you like Version 1.0 or Version 2.0? If you like version 1.0 like I do, I will courier a mithai ka dabba to you. And if you like 2.0 then I don’t know what to courier to you!

They took away the freshness and the beauty of Version 1.0, did some bloody cosmetic surgery on it and churned out the plastic-y Version 2.0. A surgery gone awfully wrong!

Milawat ka zamana hai bhai!

 

When PA’s mind stops working…

And the date is 01.01.10

Well actually it was showing such signs since a few days!

Its the bye-bye-old-year-come-come-new-year syndrome.

PA feels listless when she sees anything going away. She doesn’t like goodbyes. Even if it was as wretched as the terrible2009 with a capital T.

So now we are done with the goodbyes and have bid adieu to 2009 with some mwah-mwahs which was as fake as Rakhi Sawant’s swayamvar.

And now we welcome 2010 with open arms. Aaaoji aaoji Twenty-Ten! Ki haal chaal? Chai-shai piyo, pakode-shakode khao…

New year resolutions – nothing really. Let’s leave that on the blog’s readers for the time-being.  You may make multiple choices if you fancy.

~o~o~o~o~o~

To all my lovely blog readers and lurkers,

Have a blessed 2010!

And this song is for you – Aaallll izzzz wellllll… honton ko garke gol… seeti baja ke bol…

 

Of 3 Idiots and a sanki buddha

The ’3 Idiots’ trailer looks funky. The only turn-off is that its based on a Chetan Bhagat book! Hopefully it shouldn’t sink like ‘Hello’ which was also based on one of his books. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello… Wrong number! Ya, this is what happened. Period.

The advent of social networking sites since a couple of years has done a lot of good to this earth. Yes, I know… by now your mind (yes! you) must be floating around the random dating that you must have done courtesy these sites. And no, I am not talking about that. The biggest boon is the humor that it injects into people’s sad lives (eg. PA’s life) by way of humorous and ultra silly ‘frandship’ requests. Padho aur haso. Nahin hasi aati toh bhag jaayo!

Aaj wala ‘frandship’ request:

“I am cordially invite as a frandship with you. Thanks and have a nice day.”

Now don’t come back saying things like – why do such things happen with PA only? Blah. Apne andar jhank ke dekho… you’ll find a pitara of such things.

Arre tuchch praani! See humor in things around you. Why make the serious life even more serious by being serious about everything. Haso muskurao jiyo. Do you want your grandchildren to call you a sanki buddha? No na.

 

wtf moment # 46562

Couple of months ago – random conversation with an acquaintance:

He: I think I like you.

PA: Why?

He: You look faithful.

~~~ PA didn’t know that she gave out such vibes! Faithfulness-wala vibes!!! Shucks! ~~~

~~~ WTF moment of the day ~~~

 

Shaitan ki aatma – The hichki katha

What happens when you get hichki? You are tortured advised by every living animal creature on the whys and whats and hows and whens and so on.

A similar thing happened with PA  a couple of days ago. As the clock told the world that its 10 in the night, like a shaitan ki aatma it (arre! the hichki baba!) entered PA’s body and possessed it.

‘It’ hereby refers to the hichki aka the shaitan ki aatma.

The moment it entered, it made its presence loud and clear. What did it sound like? For the first few minutes it sounded like the sound of a new born donkey. And then it started its magnificent tandav and its decibel was enough to kill kumbhakaran in its sleep or maybe just wake him up and make him run helter skelter for cover. Move over dude, you have competition!

Dude = Kumbhakaran

Now this doesn’t mean that all dudes can be called kumbhakaran. Samjha. Anyone who eats like a pig and sleeps like a log can be called dude, okay. The rest can be called duds!!!

Back to the Hichki Puraan…

PA then ran around the house like a wild boar. The shaitan ki aatma even urged her to put the ‘hichki‘ status on Gtalk. Aha! We lead parallel virtual lives, my dahlings, don’t we?!

And as everyone knows, PA’s onscreen (virtual) life is as filmy as her offscreen (real) life.

And then the drama unfolds. Starting with the offscreen one and then moving on to the onscreen one.

~o~ Offscreen…

PA: Hai re hichki… chali ja… kyun aa gayi mujhe sata ne… maine tera kya bigada…

BA: Hehe… tujhe hichki ho gayi

PA: Mujhe koi gaali de raha hai kya?

BA: Ya phir maybe bohot yaad/miss kar raha hoga

PA: Haan yaar… pata nahin kyun ye bedard aa jaati hai… half the world says Option 1 and half the world says Option 2… Toh ab samajh mein nahin aata ke gaali de raha hai ke yaad/miss kar raha hai… Jo bhi kar raha hai… start toh yaad karne se hi kiya hoga… phir decide kiya hoga ke miss karoon ya gaali doon… Jo bhi hai ullu ke patthe… band kar yaad karna… maar delega kya?

PA kept hicki-ing after every two words that she uttered during the entire conversation. Even offscreen there’s background music and that too free! Shucks!

By now the dinner that PA had a few minutes before the hichki started was giving dhamki to come out via the upper part of the body due to the vigorous and strenuous jhatkas caused due to the hichki.

PA: Arre! Band kar yaad karna… marr gayi toh sirf yaad hee karta reh jayega…

By now PA had decided to follow cure measures based on the recommendations of her loved ones. PA knew these measures prior itself but as you know when you get hichki of this types then the mind stops working. The same happened in PA’s case.

She tried having water, sugar, honey and the works. BA even gave her a big phatka on her back to scare away the hichki. But PA collapsed on the bed after getting the massive phatka from BA.

Nothing happens. The hichki is still dancing in all its glorious form.

BA: Maybe you should try reciting ABCD. Halt a few seconds after each alphabet… if it stops at a particular alphabet then you get a clue of the culprit… You can then call up the most probable person who’s name starts with that alphabet and bajao him/her.

So PA starts the hichki bhagao alphabet game. Kya kya karna padta hai yeh zaalim hichki ki wajah se!

PA: A… hichki… B… hichki… C… hichki…………Y… hichki… Z… hichki….

BA: Oh shit! Yeh A to Z toh khatam ho gaya… last time it had worked and was bang on!

PA: Oh shit! Ab kya karoon??? 1,2,3… start karoon kya?

BA: !!!

PA still doesn’t understand from where that 1,2,3 came from… dimag band + severe jhatkas ho jaata hai toh yehi hota hai…

~o~ Onscreen

PA’s Gtalk status message: Hichki!

Immediately there were tons of windows popping up!

Samples:

Character Friend XYZ:

XYZ: Hi… busy?

PA: Haan… hichki

XYZ: matlab… hichki aa rahi hai… isliye busy ? or busy in general?

Character Friend MNO:

MNO: sirr pe ek jor kee tapki padegi… sab teek ho jayega… zyada pamper ho gayi ho

Character Friend ABC:

ABC: what happened?

PA: hichki

ABC: ???? wat is that?

PA: arre hichki nahin pata kyaaaaaaa

ABC: ohh that wayz… someone is missing u babe

PA: but i’ll die this way

ABC: well then call up all the ppl who might be missing u…  u might just hit it right…

PA: how do i know???

ABC: thatz wat… just call up ur last 10 boy frds…one of them must be missing u bad :D u never know….more than one cud be missing u

PA: yeahhhhhhhhhh its gone! yipppppeeeeeeeeeeee

ABC: he he good! he must have crashed after drinking too much…

 

Dabur Baabar

I saw this advertisement a few weeks back and didn’t like it one bit. Went around the whole world telling all and sundry about the poor quality of advertisements that were being generated nowadays and the creative slaughter that was progressing by leaps and bounds.

Then one fine day, PA finds herself humming this very ad jingle while having bath. PA has a penchant for eating her own words. And let me tell you that PA doesn’t sing. She croaks. She doesn’t even sing in the bathroom lest the shower refuses to lend water.

Next day…

PA (Pointing to the TV): Oh see this ad. I love it! Dabur ka beta Humayun. Humayun ka… Akbar! Nice na!

BA: Huh? Dabur???

PA: Oh did I say Dabur?! Gosh! It’s Baabar, not Dabur…

~o~ And PA eats her own words yet again with a topping of Dabur Chawanprash ~o~

~o~ And it’s tasting nice ~o~

~o~ PA is in love with this ad ~o~

~o~ Baabar ka beta Humayun. Humayun ka… Akbar! ~o~

 

The man after my own heart

The man loves to eat. And eat. And eat. And eat eat EAT. The twinkle in his eyes when he sees food. The sparkle in his eyes when he sees desserts. The look on his face when he savours the aroma of freshly cooked food. He finds it difficult to resist himself when food is around him and even puts hot food inside his mouth and goes ‘ahhhhhh’ but still does that time and again. I could spend my entire life just seeing him eating. And the bliss on his face when he has food around. The man for whom I could ignore ‘my man’. The man after my own heart. Kunal Vijaykar. Times Foodie (Times Now).

~o~

I wish I could host a food and travel show someday. Par mujhko kaun bewakoof lega?

 

Randomness

Simmering words
Seething thoughts
A story unsaid
A life untold

Caustic words
Screeching thoughts
A greasy story
A weary life

 

Sometimes#45682

Sometimes logic makes no sense

And sometimes sense makes no logic…

***

Sometimes practicality is all about being impractical

And sometimes its impractical to be practical…

***

 

9.9.09

9.9.09 – The world over has been apprehensive about this date for almost a year now. Astrologically it marks Saturn’s movement into Virgo, thus sending a chill down many a people. A lot of babies have been born on this date by way of apparently predecided caesareans in order to give a permamnent stamp to this date and for other reasons which hold logic to them and that too at 9 hours and 9 minutes! Whoa! And not all of these are for astrological reasons! On the other hand, a lot of travel companies had travel packages for this ‘apparently’ historic(!) date.

So, I am also thinking that I’ll also post a random rant ‘just to capture the date’  What say?

***

I haven’t seen a movie since a few weeks long time. And I so very much want to see Quick Gun Murugan. So, why am I ranting and cribbing about it? ‘Coz my friends laughed off the idea and refused to see ‘The Murugan Movie’ as they call it! I think I should be able to kidnap someone or the other this weekend for the Murugan show

***

 

For words will only steal the moment

The mystery of silence

Weaving magic in our lives

Let our silences speak

And fall in love with each other

Let our lives exchange

The unsaid notes of faraway music

The waves of togetherness

Splashing on our feet

As I lose myself

In the tales of your eyes

Writing songs without lyrics

Don’t speak my love

For words will only steal the moment.

© All rights reserved with Priti Ahuja. To re-print or re-use, prior permission is required from the author.

—

Carry on Tuesday Prompt of the Week.

 

Where PA turns tapori

In this time and age where almost everyone has a blog, PA still gets bombarded with bewildered questions as well as reactions. A few samples and PA’s tapori answers (the non-audible variety):

You have a blog!!! Oh My God!

Bhagwan ko kyun takleef deta hai!

How do you manage time for the blog?

Problem hai kya? Ban ja mera secretary!

I am sure you must be having a chilled out job. No wonder you get time to blog.

Moron! First ask if I blog from work or not and then comment.

Are you the loner types?

Ek kaan ke neeche doon kya?!

People who blog are generally those who don’t talk much and are the silent types. I am sure you must be the silent types!

Mute button press karnewala mai ka lal abhi tak paida nahin hua hai!

Don’t you have friends to talk to?

Arre idiot, audit karega kya friends ka?!

Are you depressed in life?

Arre boss! Iski toh supari nikalni hee padega.

Why don’t you write sensible stuff life Population control, pollution, politics, global warming, economy, etc?

Tera character sketch bana daloon kya?

Gosh! You lead a public life!

Teri toh!

—

The Tapori aatma is now out of PA

 

Chetan Bhagat is back with yet another book!

Holy Cow! Chetan Bhagat is back with another book ’2 States, The Story of My Marriage’. Why the hell do people even read his books? Or better still, why do people even buy his books? And to add to the jazz, his books even feature on people’s favorite list!!!

Do you also dislike/hate his work or am I only one who hates it?!