What happens when you get hichki? You are tortured advised by every living animal creature on the whys and whats and hows and whens and so on.
A similar thing happened with PA a couple of days ago. As the clock told the world that its 10 in the night, like a shaitan ki aatma it (arre! the hichki baba!) entered PA’s body and possessed it.
‘It’ hereby refers to the hichki aka the shaitan ki aatma.
The moment it entered, it made its presence loud and clear. What did it sound like? For the first few minutes it sounded like the sound of a new born donkey. And then it started its magnificent tandav and its decibel was enough to kill kumbhakaran in its sleep or maybe just wake him up and make him run helter skelter for cover. Move over dude, you have competition!
Dude = Kumbhakaran
Now this doesn’t mean that all dudes can be called kumbhakaran. Samjha. Anyone who eats like a pig and sleeps like a log can be called dude, okay. The rest can be called duds!!!
Back to the Hichki Puraan…
PA then ran around the house like a wild boar. The shaitan ki aatma even urged her to put the ‘hichki‘ status on Gtalk. Aha! We lead parallel virtual lives, my dahlings, don’t we?!
And as everyone knows, PA’s onscreen (virtual) life is as filmy as her offscreen (real) life.
And then the drama unfolds. Starting with the offscreen one and then moving on to the onscreen one.
PA: Hai re hichki… chali ja… kyun aa gayi mujhe sata ne… maine tera kya bigada…
BA: Hehe… tujhe hichki ho gayi
PA: Mujhe koi gaali de raha hai kya?
BA: Ya phir maybe bohot yaad/miss kar raha hoga
PA: Haan yaar… pata nahin kyun ye bedard aa jaati hai… half the world says Option 1 and half the world says Option 2… Toh ab samajh mein nahin aata ke gaali de raha hai ke yaad/miss kar raha hai… Jo bhi kar raha hai… start toh yaad karne se hi kiya hoga… phir decide kiya hoga ke miss karoon ya gaali doon… Jo bhi hai ullu ke patthe… band kar yaad karna… maar delega kya?
PA kept hicki-ing after every two words that she uttered during the entire conversation. Even offscreen there’s background music and that too free! Shucks!
By now the dinner that PA had a few minutes before the hichki started was giving dhamki to come out via the upper part of the body due to the vigorous and strenuous jhatkas caused due to the hichki.
PA: Arre! Band kar yaad karna… marr gayi toh sirf yaad hee karta reh jayega…
By now PA had decided to follow cure measures based on the recommendations of her loved ones. PA knew these measures prior itself but as you know when you get hichki of this types then the mind stops working. The same happened in PA’s case.
She tried having water, sugar, honey and the works. BA even gave her a big phatka on her back to scare away the hichki. But PA collapsed on the bed after getting the massive phatka from BA.
Nothing happens. The hichki is still dancing in all its glorious form.
BA: Maybe you should try reciting ABCD. Halt a few seconds after each alphabet… if it stops at a particular alphabet then you get a clue of the culprit… You can then call up the most probable person who’s name starts with that alphabet and bajao him/her.
So PA starts the hichki bhagao alphabet game. Kya kya karna padta hai yeh zaalim hichki ki wajah se!
PA: A… hichki… B… hichki… C… hichki…………Y… hichki… Z… hichki….
BA: Oh shit! Yeh A to Z toh khatam ho gaya… last time it had worked and was bang on!
PA: Oh shit! Ab kya karoon??? 1,2,3… start karoon kya?
PA still doesn’t understand from where that 1,2,3 came from… dimag band + severe jhatkas ho jaata hai toh yehi hota hai…
PA’s Gtalk status message: Hichki!
Immediately there were tons of windows popping up!
Character Friend XYZ:
XYZ: Hi… busy?
PA: Haan… hichki
XYZ: matlab… hichki aa rahi hai… isliye busy ? or busy in general?
Character Friend MNO:
MNO: sirr pe ek jor kee tapki padegi… sab teek ho jayega… zyada pamper ho gayi ho
Character Friend ABC:
ABC: what happened?
ABC: ???? wat is that?
PA: arre hichki nahin pata kyaaaaaaa
ABC: ohh that wayz… someone is missing u babe
PA: but i’ll die this way
ABC: well then call up all the ppl who might be missing u… u might just hit it right…
PA: how do i know???
ABC: thatz wat… just call up ur last 10 boy frds…one of them must be missing u bad :D u never know….more than one cud be missing u
PA: yeahhhhhhhhhh its gone! yipppppeeeeeeeeeeee
ABC: he he good! he must have crashed after drinking too much…