Where television bites PA

Rakhi ka Swayamvar - I went around the world proudly claiming that Rakhi has lost it and who’s gonna watch the bunch of idiots trying to get married to her… And last of all I I I am not going to watch this crap.

Well, the breaking news is that I am indeed watching it now. Watching crap. Yes. No. Infact it is TP. As per my track record of days months years, I end up eating my words again!

It has the Rakhi Sawant. It has a bunch of idiots prospective grooms. Lawyers, police officers, NRI chaps. I guess there is only one NRI chap. Talking of this NRI chap, I remember one clipping that had caught my attention. In one of the episodes when each one was asked as to what do they do… there were answers like ‘I am a lawyer‘, ‘I am an actor‘, etc. This chap says, ‘I am an NRI‘. Well, I never knew that being an NRI is an occupation/profession in itself. And Rakhi is apparently total fida over him. Woman, careful… he may be washing utensils over there in firang land

Rakhi is fida fida fida over everything he does or says. And especially his hindi with a firang accent. She finds it sooooooo cute

Rakhi sapne bunane lagi hai Toronto ke

She tries to look ‘demure and shy’ like a bride to be

Close ups of her face filling up the screen. Layers of pancake shining through. And her so-called ada. Uff. Irritating at times. But somehow you can’t ignore her.

If there was any one person who could do this drama of a swayamvar, its her, its her, its her.

The monkeys prospective grooms are made to write love letters coated with sugary sweet crap mush and borrowed shayari.

There are endless conversations by the poolside one-on-one types about adjustment with saasuma, bhabhiji, joint family, trust, compatibility and the works. And love. How could I forget that!

Saroj Khan is invited to help Rakhi judge physical compatibility(!) with the monkeys. Saroj Khan says that she’s going to give them ‘lifts’ to judge whether they are strong enough to lift Rakhi. Rakhi prances around with each of the monkeys to figure out this physical compatibility aspect

During one of the dance rehearsals, Saroj Khan slaps a guy on his bum and says ‘Ladki ki tarah bum nikal ke kyun dance kar raha hai‘

After dancing with all the monkeys, its now judgement time. Rakhi says things like, ‘Inke choone se mujhe kuch nahin hua… mujhe kuch feelings nahin aayi‘ with emphasis on the words ‘feelings’. She pronounces it like ‘fillings’

Cheesy to say the least. I have never watched an entire episode at a stretch. It’s just been while surfing. I wonder what more would have been there.

My family television is usually occupied with Baskar Bharti and Yeh Rishta kya kehlata hai during this time.

Saw a couple of episodes of Bhaskar bharti and it was fun. Guy gets cursed to live a woman’s life coz God is fed up of his casanova ways

Apparently the serial would be soon pulled off air coz of low TRPs. In this age of gaon wala serials showing child marriage, female foeticide, orange sindoor, etc… who will watch this. And I just realized that whatever serial I have been watching of late with the exception of Balika Vadhu… all of them go off air Example – Namak Haram on Real Channel. I liked the storyline.

Talking about the other one – Yeh Rishta kya kehlata hai – have seen a few episodes of this one as well. The female lead’s screen name is ‘Akshara’ and she takes eternity to speak. Starts speaking on Monday… finishes the sentence by Thursday. Apparently she is also a hot favorite with most men coz she is also ‘demure and shy’. Oh my my

And yes! There’s another one – Iss jungle se mujhe bacchao on Sony I guess. I have promised myself I will not will not will not watch it