JLT # 54578

~Sometimes in life some solutions seem more complicated than the problems itself.

~Sometimes in life a smooth journey makes you more nervous than a bumpy ride.

~Our lives are made up of the laughters that we share in our sad times rather than the laughters that we share in our happy times.

 

 

Untitled noises

yun bhee hoga wo mujhe dil se bhula dega magar
ye bhee hoga khud usee mein ik khala reh jaayega

~Excerpts from a ghazal

 

Handle and all that scandal

The world and its brother seems to be following me on Twitter. I wonder how… I wonder why… That brings me to the most important question – Why am I even there on this Twitter thingy? I don’t even put updates err… tweets regularly.

The other day someone was telling me that a Twitter name is called a Handle. Yes, HANDLE!

So most Twitter centric conversations usually shape up like this -

You there on Twitter?

Ya.

What’s your handle?

Err.

~So lurker, what’s your twitter handle?

 

…

koi ye kaise bataaye ke wo tanha kyooN hai

wo jo apna thaa wahi aur kisi ka kyooN hai

yahi duniya hai to phir aisee ye duniya kyooN hai

yahi hota hai to aakhir yahi hota kyooN hai

~Excerpts from a Jagjit Singh ghazal

 

Question of the day

How do we define the Modern Indian Man in one word?

*Man as in ‘man’, not ‘woman’.

 

Of 3 Idiots and a sanki buddha

The ‘3 Idiots’ trailer looks funky. The only turn-off is that its based on a Chetan Bhagat book! Hopefully it shouldn’t sink like ‘Hello’ which was also based on one of his books. Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello… Wrong number! Ya, this is what happened. Period.

The advent of social networking sites since a couple of years has done a lot of good to this earth. Yes, I know… by now your mind (yes! you) must be floating around the random dating that you must have done courtesy these sites. And no, I am not talking about that. The biggest boon is the humor that it injects into people’s sad lives (eg. PA’s life) by way of humorous and ultra silly ‘frandship’ requests. Padho aur haso. Nahin hasi aati toh bhag jaayo!

Aaj wala ‘frandship’ request:

“I am cordially invite as a frandship with you. Thanks and have a nice day.”

Now don’t come back saying things like – why do such things happen with PA only? Blah. Apne andar jhank ke dekho… you’ll find a pitara of such things.

Arre tuchch praani! See humor in things around you. Why make the serious life even more serious by being serious about everything. Haso muskurao jiyo. Do you want your grandchildren to call you a sanki buddha? No na.

 

786

Comments so far

786

Nice number

I like it~

~Mogambo khush hua~

 

Attack

Acne attack

Bugged

Irritated

~Shame on you PA~

 

wtf moment # 46562

Couple of months ago – random conversation with an acquaintance:

He: I think I like you.

PA: Why?

He: You look faithful.

~~~ PA didn’t know that she gave out such vibes! Faithfulness-wala vibes!!! Shucks! ~~~

~~~ WTF moment of the day ~~~

 

Back after the attack

So the blog suffered a heart attack recently. Spam attack to be precise. And that too in the form of Auto Spam Posts. Yes, not spam comments!!!

PA was embarrassed to no end and had to privatize the blog till the problem was fixed. As of now the problem hasn’t reoccurred since the last two days so I am thinking of making the blog go public again.

 

 

Shaitan ki aatma – The hichki katha

What happens when you get hichki? You are tortured advised by every living animal creature on the whys and whats and hows and whens and so on.

A similar thing happened with PA  a couple of days ago. As the clock told the world that its 10 in the night, like a shaitan ki aatma it (arre! the hichki baba!) entered PA’s body and possessed it.

‘It’ hereby refers to the hichki aka the shaitan ki aatma.

The moment it entered, it made its presence loud and clear. What did it sound like? For the first few minutes it sounded like the sound of a new born donkey. And then it started its magnificent tandav and its decibel was enough to kill kumbhakaran in its sleep or maybe just wake him up and make him run helter skelter for cover. Move over dude, you have competition!

Dude = Kumbhakaran

Now this doesn’t mean that all dudes can be called kumbhakaran. Samjha. Anyone who eats like a pig and sleeps like a log can be called dude, okay. The rest can be called duds!!!

Back to the Hichki Puraan…

PA then ran around the house like a wild boar. The shaitan ki aatma even urged her to put the ‘hichki‘ status on Gtalk. Aha! We lead parallel virtual lives, my dahlings, don’t we?!

And as everyone knows, PA’s onscreen (virtual) life is as filmy as her offscreen (real) life.

And then the drama unfolds. Starting with the offscreen one and then moving on to the onscreen one.

~o~ Offscreen…

PA: Hai re hichki… chali ja… kyun aa gayi mujhe sata ne… maine tera kya bigada…

BA: Hehe… tujhe hichki ho gayi

PA: Mujhe koi gaali de raha hai kya?

BA: Ya phir maybe bohot yaad/miss kar raha hoga

PA: Haan yaar… pata nahin kyun ye bedard aa jaati hai… half the world says Option 1 and half the world says Option 2… Toh ab samajh mein nahin aata ke gaali de raha hai ke yaad/miss kar raha hai… Jo bhi kar raha hai… start toh yaad karne se hi kiya hoga… phir decide kiya hoga ke miss karoon ya gaali doon… Jo bhi hai ullu ke patthe… band kar yaad karna… maar delega kya?

PA kept hicki-ing after every two words that she uttered during the entire conversation. Even offscreen there’s background music and that too free! Shucks!

By now the dinner that PA had a few minutes before the hichki started was giving dhamki to come out via the upper part of the body due to the vigorous and strenuous jhatkas caused due to the hichki.

PA: Arre! Band kar yaad karna… marr gayi toh sirf yaad hee karta reh jayega…

By now PA had decided to follow cure measures based on the recommendations of her loved ones. PA knew these measures prior itself but as you know when you get hichki of this types then the mind stops working. The same happened in PA’s case.

She tried having water, sugar, honey and the works. BA even gave her a big phatka on her back to scare away the hichki. But PA collapsed on the bed after getting the massive phatka from BA.

Nothing happens. The hichki is still dancing in all its glorious form.

BA: Maybe you should try reciting ABCD. Halt a few seconds after each alphabet… if it stops at a particular alphabet then you get a clue of the culprit… You can then call up the most probable person who’s name starts with that alphabet and bajao him/her.

So PA starts the hichki bhagao alphabet game. Kya kya karna padta hai yeh zaalim hichki ki wajah se!

PA: A… hichki… B… hichki… C… hichki…………Y… hichki… Z… hichki….

BA: Oh shit! Yeh A to Z toh khatam ho gaya… last time it had worked and was bang on!

PA: Oh shit! Ab kya karoon??? 1,2,3… start karoon kya?

BA: !!!

PA still doesn’t understand from where that 1,2,3 came from… dimag band + severe jhatkas ho jaata hai toh yehi hota hai…

~o~ Onscreen

PA’s Gtalk status message: Hichki!

Immediately there were tons of windows popping up!

Samples:

Character Friend XYZ:

XYZ: Hi… busy?

PA: Haan… hichki

XYZ: matlab… hichki aa rahi hai… isliye busy ? or busy in general?

Character Friend MNO:

MNO: sirr pe ek jor kee tapki padegi… sab teek ho jayega… zyada pamper ho gayi ho

Character Friend ABC:

ABC: what happened?

PA: hichki

ABC: ???? wat is that?

PA: arre hichki nahin pata kyaaaaaaa

ABC: ohh that wayz… someone is missing u babe

PA: but i’ll die this way

ABC: well then call up all the ppl who might be missing u…  u might just hit it right…

PA: how do i know???

ABC: thatz wat… just call up ur last 10 boy frds…one of them must be missing u bad :D u never know….more than one cud be missing u

PA: yeahhhhhhhhhh its gone! yipppppeeeeeeeeeeee

ABC: he he good! he must have crashed after drinking too much…

 

Dabur Baabar

I saw this advertisement a few weeks back and didn’t like it one bit. Went around the whole world telling all and sundry about the poor quality of advertisements that were being generated nowadays and the creative slaughter that was progressing by leaps and bounds.

Then one fine day, PA finds herself humming this very ad jingle while having bath. PA has a penchant for eating her own words. And let me tell you that PA doesn’t sing. She croaks. She doesn’t even sing in the bathroom lest the shower refuses to lend water.

Next day…

PA (Pointing to the TV): Oh see this ad. I love it! Dabur ka beta Humayun. Humayun ka… Akbar! Nice na!

BA: Huh? Dabur???

PA: Oh did I say Dabur?! Gosh! It’s Baabar, not Dabur…

~o~ And PA eats her own words yet again with a topping of Dabur Chawanprash ~o~

~o~ And it’s tasting nice ~o~

~o~ PA is in love with this ad ~o~

~o~ Baabar ka beta Humayun. Humayun ka… Akbar! ~o~

 

The man after my own heart

The man loves to eat. And eat. And eat. And eat eat EAT. The twinkle in his eyes when he sees food. The sparkle in his eyes when he sees desserts. The look on his face when he savours the aroma of freshly cooked food. He finds it difficult to resist himself when food is around him and even puts hot food inside his mouth and goes ‘ahhhhhh’ but still does that time and again. I could spend my entire life just seeing him eating. And the bliss on his face when he has food around. The man for whom I could ignore ‘my man’. The man after my own heart. Kunal Vijaykar. Times Foodie (Times Now).

~o~

I wish I could host a food and travel show someday. Par mujhko kaun bewakoof lega?

 

Randomness

Simmering words
Seething thoughts
A story unsaid
A life untold

Caustic words
Screeching thoughts
A greasy story
A weary life

 

Sometimes#45682

Sometimes logic makes no sense

And sometimes sense makes no logic…

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Sometimes practicality is all about being impractical

And sometimes its impractical to be practical…

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